Falling in love, getting married, and having kids are life goals for many people. Divorce rarely is. Where kids are involved, breaking up will be complicated, as managing child custody can create conflict. Here are some tips to make shared custody work smoothly.
Stick to the Plan
Your divorce decree will incorporate or append your parenting plan custody arrangements. Make compliance a priority. Your attorney did their best to represent your interests and demonstrate to the court what you think would be best for your children. Once the decree is final, you are obligated to comply with it.
Be Consistent
Minimize disruptions in the shared custody schedule. Divorce is tough enough on kids without adding the stress of an ever-changing, unpredictable schedule.
Communicate With Your Ex
Try to think of your relationship with your ex as a business arrangement. This might help de-escalate disagreements and facilitate communication. Avoiding surprise last-minute shake-ups in custody exchanges and schedules will minimize conflicts. Communicating clearly and without animosity is one of the top tips for making shared custody work.
Respect Your Ex’s Space
It’s difficult to let go of the impulse to inspect your ex’s home and make sure it is up toyour standards of organization, cleanliness, and healthy food in the fridge for your kids. The court found your ex to be a fit parent who’s entitled to have your children stay with them for part of each week or on certain holidays. Even if your spouse’s habits were a major contributor to your urge to divorce, you need to keep your criticisms to yourself once the divorce is final.
Talk to Your Kids
Make sure your children understand that you and your ex are still their parents and love them unconditionally even though you don’t live together anymore. Help them get used to the arrangement by maintaining a positive attitude and listening uncritically to your kid’s descriptions of the fun (or lack of it) they had while at your ex’s place.
Agree To Keep Kids’ Supplies in Both Homes
Even if you must buy two of their favorite pair of jeans or their preferred shampoo and keep a set of special holiday clothes at both homes, it’s better than making your kids pack and unpack bags twice a week or more. Kids don’t regard custody exchanges as vacations. Both ex-partners’ dwellings should feel like home to the kids from the minute they walk through the door.
What To Do If It’s Not Working
Unfortunately, shared custody arrangements sometimes don’t work out. It might be that the ex-partners simply live too far apart, or one partner simply doesn’t follow the plan.
If this is your situation, contact your lawyer, who can advise you on what to do if your ex doesn’t comply with child custody arrangements. Every state’s procedure is different, so it’s important to consult an experienced child custody lawyer in your area who knows the proper procedures.
